belated birthday pictures!!

The present!! Its carved from a thick book! And there's treasures inside =D So sweet!!

Here you can see the book clearly!! HEHE It was a shock at first.

Playing with Sparklers at Little Guilin. IT was so sparkling! And there're little stars flying off !

Steamboat dinner at the Deck

Ate Steamboat dinner myself! it was a good experience!! This is my 3rd time this semester eating Steamboat at the SzeChuan Stall! I am really gonna miss this fantastic and value-for-money meal when I graduate this May!! Dinners will never be the same again =D

Masculine gender role stress

Eisler, R. M., & Blalock, J. A. (1991). Masculine Gender Role Stress: Implications for the assessment of Men. Clinical Psychology Review, 11, 45-60.

Some quoted text of interest

"There has been increased interest in the idea that gender plays a major role in predisposing each sex to certain kinds of mental and physical health problems. Explanations for sex differences in the health of men and women have focused broadly on 2 types of factors: the biogenic and the psychosocial."

"Waldron (1976) has estimated that 75% of the sex difference in life expectancy can be accounted for by the gender role behaviors of men who are involved in more high health risk behaviors than women, including smoking, alcohol abuse, and propensity toward violent or hazardous activities."

"The notion that the differential gender role socialisation of men and women might predispose each sex to different kinds of mental health problems may be viewed as an application of sociocultural and psychosocial models to the etiology of behavior disorders. Central to this construction are the concepts of gender, gender identity, and the acquisition of gender role. Gender refers to social conceptions of what it is to be masculine and what it is to be feminine. For eg., most people in our culture believe that it is not masculine for women to be involved in displays of physical aggression, although it is certainly not ruled out by their biology."

"Masculinity then, like femininity, is entirely an achieved status regulated by normative beliefs and expectations. To become masculine in terms of one's thoughts, expression of one's feelings, and behavioral repertoires requires many years of enculturation.... Because results of masculine indoctrination are so pervasive among men despite individual variations in education, race, ethinicity, and political beliefs, many men therefore find it difficult to believe that their masculine beliefs have primarily cultural as opposed to biological origins."

"The idea that masculine traits such as dominance and competitiveness are imposed on the individual by the culture rather than developed from within by innate biological forces or by developmental needs to develop a masculine identity was first advanced by Joseph Pleck (1981) in his book, The Myth of Masculinity."

these are the 5 factors that are the behavior under masculine gender role stress
1. physical inadequacy -- stress appriasial related to fears of not being competitive physically, in sports or sexual rivalries
2. emotional inexpressiveness -- male difficulties in expressing feelings of affection, fear or pain. Reflects a stress a man may feel when he has to confront emotional responses in others
3. subordination to women -- reflect male apprisal of stress due to a perceived competitive threat from women
4. intellectual inferiority -- male appraisal of stress in situations that question his rational coping abilities, to be decisive, smart enough
5. performance failure -- stress of potential failure to perform up to masculine standards in work and sexual adequacy.

this stuff is so interesting!!

my new handpone!!

Photos taken on the 1st excited day of using my New Shiny Z750i Handphone! SUGOI!!
Its cool and shiny. hehe. Comes with a pouch too!! I love it!

pillion riding lesson

I was deprived of riding for quite long after my 2 straight passes.. and last night i went for another class. It was on pillion riding. Well pillion riding was exciting and challenging.

Arul pillioned me first cos he said he knew the test route. I wasn't too sure of it. Weird that our previous instructors did not explicitly tell us which is the test route. TAI HEN - desu!! How could they not teach us the test route properly? I think they dont take their jobs seriously lor. Anws, we went to the wrong route and the instructor told us the correct one. hilarious. haha.

Btw, arul's start/stop skills are so terrible, i was constantly jerked back and forth, it was so scary and he kept 'yelling' at me to grab him properly. I mean, dun have to grab until so tight one right. but anws, he was wearing this slipperly type of material as his jacket, so it was bad. I was holding tight already but he did not feel it, and he kept thinking I was gonna fall off. I mean, I wouldn't, would I? haiz

Well at least we went through it safely.

When it was my turn, I was slightly apprehensive cos I was afraid I couldn't support both our weights. I was right. Sector 1 was right turn, into slope area, and when I was going down the slope, I couldn't go straight, and my handlebar was wobbling. Left turn out and go straight to S and crank course. I was surprised I could control the bike properly during the S and crank course, I must have gotten quite good at that already. Next up was to pass the traffic lights and go straight for a right turn. After right turn, change lane to left lane and exit to Plank and Pylon. That was hard, i fell down the plank, and I headed to pylon. But on the 2nd cone, I did not swerve enough, and I slightly hit the cone, and before I knew it, my bike went for the curb and I my knees hit hard on the ground.

I was shocked. I thought that if I hit the cone, its safe, since the cone is supposed to fall. But I fell instead. haha. Well, anws we picked ourselves up from the fall, and oh btw, Arul was leaning on me when we fell (so kinda double weight). When I stabalised myself, I saw that my left knee was bleeding abit, and there was a hole in my jeans where I hit. Well well, limping and feeling slightly 'defeated', I told Arul that I was fine and can go.

After that, it was uneventful as I headed confidently (with strength and pride burning and wanting to be restored) towards the Emergency brake area. My instructor (btw, he was my ex-favorite instructor, the super nice guy) asked why I fell. well, it was so embarrassing. My skills in the pylon needs to be polished up man. The rest of the circuit, I am totally alright.

My right knee (Day 3)

My left knee (Day 3)

After the pillion riding, we headed to the riding simulator. It was so exciting and me and Arul couldn't wait to 'play' the simulator. So when the instructor asked for volunteer, we both shouted, but Arul shouted first, haha. Well so I was jealous. Anws, it seemed fun and he gave a demonstration of the thing. really duno wad its about cos instructor just asked us to get on it, and go to a certain speed. Up to us to see what happens. It was exciting though hehe.

After Arul's turn (he did a demo of E-brake at 80km/h, and also about braking distance when we're unprepared v.s. when we're prepared has a difference of 1 second. At 80km/h, 1 second equals 20metres!!), instructor asked for another volunteer. The 3 other guys didn't, and my enthusiasm got me on the simulator! hehe. So anws, I bumped into the lorry haha. It was about the 2 second rule.

Well, then instructor told us this story about a lady who did not follow the 2 second rule, and she died an instant death. This happened 10 years ago. Her fiance was heartbroken... Well, it was because another lady driver in front of her suddenly jam brake in the middle of the expressway, and she was keeping too close. Her bike stopped, but she was flung 30 metres away and died instantly. Thinking why the lady driver jammed brake? Or have you heard the story? Well, she jammed the brakes because she did not put in the cashcard for the ERP.

The quotes from my instructor and BBDC.
Ride Safe.
Ride Responsibly.
Be patient.
Do not demand Right of Way.

Bad luck through and through

Few months back, I dropped my handphone in an ulu bus. (that was in September last yr).

Just last week, my hp mysteriously disappeared. I had 2 handphones, of which the other one was still in my bag.

Just last night, I lost my ez-link card in the school. Its either in the school gym or the school lab (both places I know I did not drop anything). I suspected its been stolen.

This spade of losing things and being out of control just makes life seem abit surreal. I don't have a history of losing my things, so this frequency of losing things is kinda freaky.

weekend of many firsts

wad a hectic terrible tiring crazy weekend ever.

First time I quarreled with my sister and shouted at her so loudly, my ears went deaf for a second. And my brain felt like it was exploding.
First time I was louder than my sister at shouting (bear in mind, she always shouts commands in npcc)
First time I got so upset and just totally hated the situation, and let out all my steam.
First time ever, that twice in a week (Friday + Sunday) I got upset and screamed plus shouted. I didn't know I had so much negative energy in me.
First time I wanted to get a Zero-dollar handphone SO much in my life.
First time I felt like killing people 2 days in a row (because I got so angry)
First time I felt so un-controlled at situations. I mean, there's nothing much but it just makes my blood boil for some reason.
First time I feel so good after shouting & screaming. I mean, today my appetite was so good!!

more updates

V-day thoughts

Wonder what you guys did for V-day? It must have been another day to most people I guess. I believe the only reason why V-day receives so much sensationalisation is mainly due to the economical attractions. I suppose most people thought of selling roses or handmade nitty gritty to get some money right? Well, I almost wanted to sell roses for $5 on the day itself, because I saw the florist in my market selling roses for $2 each. But i didn't, because I didn't have a license to sell, so i was afraid to get caught by the Police. I guess being such a law-abiding society doesn't do little 'entrepreneurs' like us good =p

On a brighter note, i had to go back to school for project meetings for the whole day, So it might have been a good thing that I did not buy the entire bunch (maybe 50 or so roses), else I would have had no time to sell them =)

V-day activities
Wonder what romantic things people actually do 'normally'? Me and Arul went to do something adventurous - Trek through the forest to Bt Timah Hill at night. Those of you who have not done that before might think 'easy lah!', but think twice. The nighttime makes your mind wonder, and the dark forest, with the canopy blocking the moonlight, hides many unknowns. The scenery is actually rather beautiful with the moonlight, but somehow just 2 of us walking into the unknown makes it rather spooky.

we were in out first 10 mins of the walk, and we saw 2 big red chinese-styled lanterns hung upon a tree, and beneath it was sprawled a red qi-pao (cheongsum). THAT WAS SPOOKY!! It immediately made my whole mind go 'GHOST' and images from those hongkong ghost movies raced about in my mind. They made me so scared, and I wondered whether anything was behind me in the dark forest. To make it worse, Arul made a big hoo-ha about it. He was like 'Wah! Look at those ghost lanterns! This is so haunted!!' and made many ghostly noises. To think that we were all alone in the 'wilderness' with no one nearby to save us or hear our cries for help, (if any). well i couldn't help but try my best to maintain calm and stop my brain from imagining further. He didn't stop his nonsense, so i had to tell him harshly to shut up, which he did, finally. PHEW.

Well, the forest at night looks so different from the daytime. I guess I need to face my fears more, and we'll definitely be visiting the forest at night soon, to overcome our fears, and know more about ourselves =)

1st presentation of the sem

and i did badly Haiz

CNY

this year's CNY seems so boaring and just boaring.
Most of the things on my mind are regarding the following.

what do i want to do for my future? how do i go about doing it?

what career choices do i have?

why must i work under other people?

Tell me if you guys are facing the same thing. We could discuss it.

Also, I cant wait to get my hands on the bike. anyone has a bike? -please please can you lend me to practice on? well.. Hope I can pass my theory soon. the book is so thick and i almost passed the evaluation the last time, missed by 6%!! 84% lor. wasted chance. haiz now gotta retake. but arul also failed, so at least i dont haf to wait for him.

im so sleepy

Last Thursday and Friday, I was so free. Watched one piece like forever. On the free day, which is Friday, I played piano for the whole day. Just keep practising and practising. The songs in The secret. It was so fun, yet annoying many times when i kept playing the wrong things. Imagine being my neighbor for that day. You'd want to kill me. haha.

Enjoyed myself so much.

Come Saturday and sunday, abit more busy with a make -up lecture and 2 tuition classes. Somemore, i dint get my pay haha. Then on sat, realised got project 1 worth 20percent to hand in by monday. How stressful. All along, i was dreaming, and did not know it was approaching. That's really how slack I am this semester. Well at least i'm getting my priorities right.

now that the proj 1 is finished and handed in, I'm quite relieved. Not that I care about the percentage marks, I care more about whether my product idea is good, and marketable and patentable. well, hopefully it turns out well. If so, i'll probably post it here.